When your parent gets older and can't make important decisions for themselves, it's really important to have the right paperwork in place to make sure they're taken care of. Planning ahead means you can help your parent and make sure their wishes are followed, even when they can't make decisions on their own.
To help with this, your parent can choose trusted people to make decisions for them. These people will help with medical or financial decisions. Usually, this involves picking a health care proxy and a power of attorney. In this guide, we'll explain what these terms mean, how these people are chosen, and how to avoid problems between them.
What you'll learn:
What’s the Difference Between a Health Care Proxy and a Financial Power of Attorney?
A health care proxy is someone who makes medical decisions for your parent, like what treatments they get if they’re sick. A financial power of attorney is someone who makes financial decisions, like paying bills or managing money. Both of these roles are important when your parent can't make decisions because of illness or injury.
These terms also refer to legal documents that officially say who will make these decisions. The person making decisions is called the agent, and your parent is called the principal. The big difference between the two is the type of decisions the agent is allowed to make.
What is a Health Care Proxy?
A health care proxy makes medical decisions when your parent can’t. This role can also be called a medical proxy or medical power of attorney. For example, if your parent has dementia and needs specific care, the health care proxy will make sure your parent gets the care they need based on their wishes.
The health care proxy also makes sure doctors follow what your parent wanted, like whether or not they want life support. In some cases, a health care proxy is durable, which means the agent can make decisions even if your parent didn’t explain exactly what they want before. You can download the official Massachusetts healthcare proxy form HERE.
When Does a Health Care Proxy Take Effect?
The health care proxy doesn’t do anything until your parent can’t make their own medical decisions. If your parent has a proxy but can still make their own choices, they stay in control of their medical care.
What is a Financial Power of Attorney?
A inancial power of attorney makes decisions about your parent’s money and finances. This can include paying bills, managing property, and making sure your parent's money is handled properly when they can’t do it themselves.
While the health care proxy handles medical decisions, the power of attorney takes care of financial ones, which can include paying for medical care or choosing long-term care.
How Do You Choose Agents for Health Care Proxy and Financial Power of Attorney?
Usually, parents pick their adult children to be their agents, but it can also be a trusted friend or relative. If there isn’t anyone suitable, they might choose a lawyer to be their agent.
Your parent can have one person be both the health care proxy and power of attorney, or they can choose different people for each role. If they pick different people, those agents need to work together so they don’t get into arguments over what’s best.
To help your parent pick the right person, think about:
- Does your parent trust this person completely?
- Are they good at handling money or making medical decisions?
- Will this person avoid conflicts of interest (like choosing things that benefit themselves more than your parent)?
Choosing a Health Care Proxy Agent
The best health care proxy is someone who can follow your parent’s wishes, even if it’s hard. For example, if your parent has strong feelings about certain medical treatments, the agent needs to honor those choices. If the agent’s personal beliefs might get in the way of following your parent’s wishes, they may not be the best person for the job.
Choosing a Financial Power of Attorney Agent
When selecting a power of attorney, it’s important to choose someone who’s good with managing money. They need to make decisions that are in your parent’s best interest, not their own. If an agent might use their position to benefit themselves financially, they should not be chosen.
Dividing Health Care Proxy and Financial Power of Attorney Duties
Sometimes, parents divide the responsibilities between their kids to be fair, giving one person the role of health care proxy and another the role of power of attorney. But this can cause arguments, especially if siblings don’t agree on what’s best for their parent.
How to Prevent Conflict Between a Health Care Proxy and Financial Power of Attorney
Even though the health care proxy and power of attorney have different responsibilities, their decisions can overlap. For example, the health care proxy might choose a care facility, but the power of attorney needs to approve the payment. If the two people don’t agree, it can lead to a big problem.
Here are some tips to avoid this:
- Choose the same person for both roles: This makes decision-making easier since the same person handles both medical and financial matters.
- Plan for disagreements ahead of time: If your parent insists on having two different people, encourage them to choose a mediator who can help solve any arguments.
- Document your parent’s wishes clearly: Make sure your parent writes down their medical and financial preferences. This way, the agents can avoid misunderstandings and follow your parent’s wishes.
At View All Options we believe planning ahead and choosing the right people for these roles, can help make sure your parent is well taken care of without unnecessary arguments between family members. Planning now ensures your parent’s wishes are respected when they can’t make decisions for themselves.
