Helping your parent or loved one set up a Power of Attorney (POA) is one of the most important steps you can take to make sure their wishes are honored and their affairs are managed properly if they ever can’t handle things on their own. This guide will walk you through exactly what a POA is, how to get it set up, and why it’s so crucial that you do this before it’s too late.
What Is a Power of Attorney and Why Does Your Parent Need One?
A Power of Attorney (POA) is a legal document that gives someone (called the "agent" or "attorney-in-fact") the authority to make decisions on behalf of another person (the "principal"), which in this case would be your parent or loved one. This could be anything from paying bills, managing bank accounts, making healthcare decisions, or handling legal matters.
It’s important to understand that having a POA in place means that your parent is in control of who they want to help manage their affairs. If they don’t have one and become unable to make decisions, the process becomes much harder. A court might need to get involved to appoint someone, and that person may not always be the one your parent would have chosen.
Why Do You Need to Do This Beofre its To Late?
The best time to set up a Power of Attorney is before your parent starts having trouble managing their affairs. If they wait until they’re too ill or mentally incapable of understanding what’s going on, it may be too late to put a POA in place. This means you would have to go through court to get permission to manage their affairs—an expensive, time-consuming, and stressful process.
Even if your parent is still handling things fine now, life is unpredictable. An accident or sudden illness could leave them temporarily or permanently unable to make decisions. A POA ensures that if something happens, you or someone they trust can step in and keep things running smoothly.
Steps to Setting Up a Power of Attorney for Your Parent
Let’s walk through how to get a Power of Attorney set up for your parent or loved one.
Have the Conversation:
The first step is often the hardest: talking to your parent about it. No one likes to think about losing control over their own life, but it’s important to explain that this is about protecting them and their wishes. You might say something like, "I want to make sure that if something ever happens, I can step in and help you, just like you’d want me to." It’s not about taking over their life—it’s about being prepared.
Decide What Type of Power of Attorney Is Needed
Many people choose a Durable Power of Attorney because it remains effective even if their parent becomes unable to make decisions on their own. However, regardless of whether you or your loved one has or needs a power of attorney, it is essential for seniors to establish a health care proxy, particularly for those requiring nursing home care
Choose the Right Agent:
This is the person who will be making decisions on your parent’s behalf. It’s typically a trusted family member (like you), but it could also be a close friend or even a financial advisor. The key is to choose someone who:
- Is trustworthy and will act in your parent’s best interest.
- Understands your parent’s values and wishes.
- Is organized and capable of handling financial, legal, or medical matters.
- Lives nearby (optional but helpful for emergencies).
- Can handle the emotional and practical demands of the role.
If you have siblings or other close family members, it’s a good idea to involve them in the conversation to avoid misunderstandings down the road.
Draft the POA Document:
Next, you’ll need to create the actual document. While you can find templates online, it’s a good idea to work with a lawyer, especially if your parent’s situation is complex or you’re unsure about the legal details. A lawyer can ensure the POA is properly drafted and complies with your state’s laws.
In the document, you’ll need to specify:
- What powers the agent has (financial, medical, or both).
- When those powers take effect (immediately or only if your parent becomes incapacitated).
- Any specific instructions or limitations your parent wants to include.
Sign and Notarize the POA:
Once the document is ready, your parent will need to sign it in front of witnesses. In most states, the document will also need to be notarized to make it official. Make sure the witnesses aren’t the agent or anyone who stands to gain financially from the POA.
Distribute Copies:
After the POA is signed and notarized, you’ll need to distribute copies to key people and institutions:
- Your parent’s bank and financial institutions.
- Their doctor or healthcare providers (for a medical POA).
- Any attorneys or financial advisors your parent works with.
- It’s also a good idea to keep a copy in a safe but easily accessible place.
What Happens If You Don’t Have a Power of Attorney?
If your parent becomes unable to manage their affairs without a POA in place, things can get complicated. You would need to go to court to get guardianship or conservatorship over your parent’s affairs, which is a lengthy, expensive process. Worse, the court may appoint someone your parent wouldn’t have wanted making decisions for them.
Having a POA avoids all this and ensures that someone they trust is in charge when they can no longer manage things on their own.
Common Concerns About POAs
Your parent may worry that giving you (or someone else) power of attorney means they’ll lose control over their life. Here’s how you can address those concerns:
- It’s not about taking over their life. As long as they are mentally capable, they are still in charge. The POA only kicks in if they can’t make decisions for themselves.
- It’s a safeguard, not a surrender. Explain that having a POA in place is like having a backup plan. It’s there to protect them, not to take over before it’s necessary.
- You can limit the POA. If they’re worried about giving too much power, remind them that they can limit what the agent is allowed to do. The POA can be customized to meet their comfort level.
Peace of Mind for the Future
Setting up a Power of Attorney isn’t just about preparing for a worst-case scenario—it’s about making sure your parent or loved one’s affairs are in good hands, no matter what happens. It gives them the peace of mind that their wishes will be respected, and it gives you the confidence that, if needed, you’ll be able to step in and help without jumping through legal hoops.
At View All Options, we encourage you to be proactive in healthcare planning for your loved ones. In the end, having a Power of Attorney in place ensures that your parent’s life, finances, and healthcare decisions are managed with care, compassion, and respect—just as they would want.
